How to get blackballed in publishing

This amusing bit was on Editorial Anonymous, detailing how you can ensure you'll never have a career in children's publishing by doing any of the following:

• Sending me lingerie, pornographic manuscripts, or death threats. You're nuts. I've given your name to security.
• Calling or emailing me repeatedly in the belief that you're just too charming to have to play by the rules. Using the phone or email forces me to respond personally to you, and the thought of all the patient, rule-abiding, very likely more talented authors in the slush pile who would love to hear from me personally—when in fact I'm busy dealing with jackasses like you—boils my blood.
• Writing a manuscript so totally out of touch with children—or humans—that I have to share it with all of my colleagues.

Be sure to read an older post titled "More Ways You Aren't Going to Get Published."